“Your Child’s Selective Mutism Is Not About Him. It’s About You!”

“Say what??? WTF is he talking about?”

My blood was boiling, I’m pretty sure my eyeballs had jumped on my forehead (it’s a good thing I didn’t check) and my brain sent off an alarm signal to my hand ordering it to hang up the phone. Not just hang up, SMASH it against the wall.

How dare he to “Mike Tyson” me like that? I mean Mike’s punch is estimated to have a power of up to 1,600 joules. But I digress.

As my hand initiated the proper movement to execute my brain’s order and stamp the beautifully painted sheet rack with an imprint of my new and shiny iPhone, my not so thin skin protested.

“Hang on a second, hold off, I’ll take it from here.”

Whether it was the hopeless state of my mind (after reading and researching everything that was available about SM and being deeply discouraged by what was offered as “solution” from therapists, specialists and doctors, THANKS, BUT NO THANKS!), my nature of being extremely observant or the fact that I had just paid an arm and a leg for this thirty minute phone consultation, my thick skin decided to take over my brain and rubbed my ears wide open.

“It doesn’t mean this is your fault.” said Berent with a brash, assertive, straight forward yet somewhat comforting tone of voice.
“It just means that the outcome of your son’s selective mutism depends on you and I will only work with you if you’re up for the challenge. And it is a challenge, but the outcome will be well worth it.”

If I lost your focus and desire to read any further and you want to hit that “exit” button from this post, let me give you  a spoiler alert before you click away.

What he taught me about selective mutism and the process of resolving it, not only changed my son’s and our family’s lives, but it transformed me as a parent in a most profound way. The benefits of this mindset shift are limitless even when parenting kids without SM.

Whether you keep on reading just a few more paragraphs or decide “Meh… not interested”, I want you to walk away with this perhaps most important knowledge about selective mutism.

You are either enabling your child’s SM  or resolving it. There is no in between.

The latter requires certain know-how, but more about it later.

Curious, as to how come? Read on…

I’m saying this in the most non-judgmental way possible, since I had been unknowingly enabling my son’s SM for almost two years. It wasn’t until I started being coached and taught by Jonathan that I realized the significance of my role as a parent in achieving the desired outcome of resolving selective mutism.

He’s seen my son exactly zero times and spoken to him zero times. All of his work went into me and my husband. Coaching parents is the key to resolving selective mutism, if they are willing to do the work.

I’d like to brag that I was a better student and I have screenshots of praises to show off. In all seriousness though, I felt like everything he was telling me I already knew, it was one A-ha moment after another.

Who knew I was that powerful? I guess not hanging up on him and surviving an emotional knockout from a 1,600 joules power punch should’ve been a hint, but I’m getting sidetracked again.

I was now looking forward to those calls that were turning my worldview on anxiety, enabling, avoidant personality and a whole a lot more upside down. Its  dominance on our kids to make them freeze physically and emotionally when expected to speak was no longer a dark and scary (we have our own anxieties about it) parallel universe. It was getting demystified day after day, try after try, setback after setback and win after win. Bring it on!

Here is what I know and I’m dying to share it with every parent out there who feels helpless, sad, worried and stuck.  You absolutely have the power

 

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Raw, Real, No Fluff Parent To Parent Talk

I love talking to people. More specifically, I love sharing my knowledge if it helps them to improve their lives. Whether it’s my to-die-for culinary recipes, helping them with tech issues, making sure they never drink bad coffee (ugh… so many need help in that dept…) or more importantly helping those who have children with selective mutism (this one is very near to my heart and I poured my soul into learning  how to resolve it)  I always go above and beyond to make sure you feel uplifted, empowered and truly believing in yourself.

 I hope I can empower you and help you strengthen your mindset so You can empower your child to regain control over their anxiety, instead of being controlled by it, which will result in resolving the selective mutism. Yes, in that order!

I’m so happy you are here.

Louisa Grigorian

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